Do You Love That Person For Who They Are, Or
For What You Think They Can Do For You?
How many times have we heard the words, “ I love you”? And how often do we become suspicious when we hear those words spoken? And does the person speaking those words truly know what love really is? The word of God tells us what love really is, and gives us examples of how it is shown. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Paul writes what love is, “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. More than likely, when people say “love” they mean something else. They may be expressing an highly emotional state of “falling in love,” where they see love simply as an overwhelming feeling. Plus, they may be confusing love with the physical desire of lust. But the love they are expressing will never be the intended love that Paul describes. I’m going to tell you some more things that love is not, love is not putting selfish needs ahead of anyone; love is not being with someone simply because of what you think they can do for you, love is not pushy or demanding, nor seeks revenge, and love is not controlling. There are many people who will say they love you, but have hidden motives behind what they tell you. These people will see their relationship or marriage with you as a way out of something, or a way to get something. They may be fooling you, but the sad part is, they end up being the real fool. There is not a man or woman God placed here on this earth to cater to another person as they demand or to meet all of their desires. There is one God, the father, who will meet all our needs. If you say you love, then your love should be genuine and pure. Love will see past our own selfish needs and see the needs of that other person, and love will never make you feel angry or disappointed when that person cannot give you what you are wanting. When you can see past self, and clearly see the heart of that man or woman, then you can truly learn what love is. Jehovah God has shown us the greatest love anyone can show. God sent his only son to die for our sins, and the word states that, “God so loved the world, that he gave his only son to die for it, so that, who so ever believed in him should not perish, but shall gain everlasting life.” John 3:16. Can you love someone to the point that you would give up your life for them? And what about Abraham? God told him to sacrifice his only son, and Abraham, full of love and obedience was about to do as God had commanded him, and sacrifice his son Isaac, but the Lord stopped him at last moment. Genesis 22:2-12. And do you remember the story of Hosea? Hosea married a woman named Gomer who was a whore. Gomer tried to be a wife, and she had children by Hosea, but Gomer’s heart was with other men, so she left Hosea, and went back to sleeping with other men. Gomer played her self out, and had lost most of her beauty, but Hosea still loved Gomer and he paid fifteen pieces of silver, and a homer of barley, and a half-homer of barley to get her back. Found in the book of Hosea Old Testament. These few stories are examples of what love is. In Hosea case he did not hold any record of Gomers wrong doing, and his love enabled him to bear all, believe all, hope for all, and endure all things Gomer put him through. We can tell a person that we love them, and when we pray we may even mention to God how much we love this person. God in his infinite wisdom will some times put us through a test just to see how much we really love that other person. But the test is really not for God because he already knows your heart, the test is to reveal to you what your true feelings are for that person; and the test results may not be in your favor. Many people and Christians included have ulterior motives behind dating or marrying a man or woman. If they can’t achieve what they want on their own, then they will try to find someone who they think can help them get it. Someone I knew wanted something so badly that they told me, “ to make it happen.” And when I could not make these things materialize, I saw the person for who they really were. It’s not love when a person’s opinion and feelings about you can change when you cannot give them what they are after; and it’s not love when that person cannot accept and appreciate whatever gift you can afford to give them, and whatever is in your power to do for them. The words “I love you” is used too loosely by to many people, and most of the people using it don’t know the meaning of true love. If you are telling someone that you love them with the hope of marrying them one day, then, you need to really mean what you are saying to them. Because if you are looking to make your dreams become theirs, and expecting him or her to make those dreams come true for you; you may be in for a big disappointment. Real love never make demands of anyone, real love will accept that person for who they are, real love is ready to forgive an offense, real love will never keep a record of wrongs done, and real love builds up and not tears down. If your love is based on what a person can do for you, then it is not real love at all, and this is what is called conditional love; and who wants conditional love? No one. If you are going to say to someone, “I love you”, then mean it from your heart, and not from what you think you can get this person to do for you.